Luxury Moscow Apartment: Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 - Unbelievable Views!
Moscow Apartment: Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 - Views That Stole My Breath (and Maybe My Will to Leave) - A Disheveled Review
Okay, buckle up folks, because I’m still reeling from my stay at Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21. Luxury? Yeah, it’s there. Unbelievable views? Absolutely. But honestly, it’s the little quirks, the slightly wonky bits, the moments where you’re like “wait, what?” that make this place memorable. Let’s dive in, shall we? And yes, I’m going to shamelessly ramble.
Metadata & SEO Gobbledygook (Just to Get it Out of the Way):
- Keywords: Luxury Moscow Apartment, Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21, Moscow Views, Russia Accommodation, Accessible Hotel Moscow, Wi-Fi Moscow, Spa Moscow, Fitness Center Moscow, Restaurant Moscow, Moscow Hotel Review, Luxury Travel Moscow, Moscow Apartment Reviews.
- Description: A brutally honest and messy review of the Luxury Moscow Apartment at Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21, covering accessibility, amenities, dining, cleanliness, and the overall experience. Spoiler alert: the views are insane.
First Impressions: The View… Oh. My. God.
Forget everything else for a moment. Seriously. The moment I walked into that apartment, my jaw hit the floor. I'm talking, full-on, cartoon-style jaw-dropping. The panoramic vista of Moscow stretched out before me like a painting, vibrant and alive. Buildings with those onion-domed churches, the river snaking through the city… it was breathtaking. Honestly, I spent the first hour just glued to the window, feeling like a tiny ant observing a magnificent ant farm. The promotional photos? They don't even begin to do it justice.
Accessibility (Let's Get Down to Brass Tacks):
Accessibility is… present. They have facilities for disabled guests, which is a good start! An elevator is essential, so that was a huge relief! While I didn't require any specific accessibility features, I did notice the hallways were wider than expected, which always gives me hope. I didn't check out every single nook and cranny, but what I saw was promising.
The Room Itself: Luxe with a Touch of… Character?
The room was… luxurious. Let’s not beat around the bush. Plush carpets, heavy drapes (hello, blackout curtains!), and a bed so enormous, I swear I could have lost a small child in there. The complimentary bottled water was a nice touch, a small gesture of the hotel that was appreciated. And yes, free Wi-Fi was available in the room and was reliable. But there were also those little… moments.
Like, the bathroom phone. Who uses a bathroom phone these days? It felt like a relic from the 80s. The water pressure in the shower was a bit… enthusiastic. And the "minibar" was stocked, but not… inspired. A few lukewarm sodas and some mystery snacks. Not quite the gourmet experience you might expect. Also, the air conditioning was a work in progress; it would occasionally roar to life like a jet engine.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Ant Farm Obsession
Ah, the food. The hotel offered 24-hour room service – essential when your internal clock is messed up from jet lag – and I may have availed myself of this service at 3 AM, devouring a ridiculously delicious burger while staring at the city lights. The restaurants boasted Asian and Western cuisine in a restaurant, a variety of options and an international flair. There was a buffet that looked pretty decent. I enjoyed the the coffee and tea in the restaurant. The happy hour seemed promising, but my view-induced paralysis prevented me from venturing out. The snack bar was… a snack bar. Nothing too thrilling, but good enough if you're craving a quick nibble.
Amenities: Spa, Fitness, and the Pursuit of Serenity (and Maybe a Tan)
Now, here's where Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 really shines. The spa/sauna was absolutely divine. I indulged in a massage that erased the lingering stress from my transatlantic flight. The sauna was heavenly, a perfect way to detox and unwind. They had the Pool with a view which looked like the most relaxing thing ever. I spent far too much time in the steam room, feeling my cares melt away. The fitness center was well-equipped, though I confess, I prioritized the view over a grueling workout. I have seen the bodywrap option for a full-body treatment, I didn't try it. What's more, the body scrub was available - how cool is that?
Cleanliness and Safety: Germs Beware!
With all the current world events, I was a little nervous about cleanliness. But Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 deserves serious props here. The staff’s dedication to anti-viral cleaning products and daily disinfection in common areas was obvious. They had hand sanitizer everywhere. The staff was trained in safety protocol, and I felt genuinely safe. I noticed that the rooms were sanitized between stays, a huge relief. The safe dining setup was observed, they even provided individually wrapped food options. There was also an option to opt of room sanitization.
Getting Around: Airport Transfer, Taxis, and… the Metro? (Maybe Not)
They offered an airport transfer, which I highly recommend. Trying to navigate Moscow with jet lag and a suitcase is a recipe for disaster. Taxi service was readily available, and valet parking would surely be convenient. I didn’t trust myself to use the Metro, so I can’t comment on its convenience.
The Little Things: Quirks and Considerations
- The Staff: Mostly friendly and helpful, although communication was sometimes tricky, and I felt a little lost when a question I posed had to be translated into Russian.
- The Soundproofing: Surprisingly effective. Despite the bustling city outside, I slept like a baby (once I’d gotten over the initial view-induced insomnia).
- Room Decorations: A perfectly fine and generic blend of modern and not. Nothing particularly exciting, though they did stock complimentary tea.
- The Elevator… Again: Because let’s be real, if you’re on a high floor, the elevator is your best friend.
- Security: Felt very safe, with CCTV in common areas and security [24-hour]. The presence of fire extinguisher, smoke alarms, and smoke detector were a must and I appreciate it!
Final Verdict: View = Heaven, Everything Else = Still Pretty Damn Good
Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 is a fantastic choice. The views alone are worth the price of admission. Yes, there are minor imperfections, but they just add to the charm. Would I go back? In a heartbeat. In fact, I’m already dreaming of that burger, that sauna, and those breathtaking city lights. Just be prepared to have your breath stolen. And maybe… bring your own snacks.
Raja Ampat Paradise Found: Sunset Views at Arborek's BEST Homestay!
Okay, brace yourself. This isn’t your grandma’s itinerary. This is me trying to navigate Moscow from the slightly questionable comfort of Apartment Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21. And honestly? I’m already anticipating a few meltdowns. Here goes…
Moscow Mayhem: A Human’s Guide (Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 Edition)
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Panic – "Where’s the Vodka, Already?!"
- Morning (7:00 AM): Wake up. Or try to. Jet lag is a beast. Currently residing in a state of semi-consciousness. The "apartment" (read: tiny box with a bed) in Hanaka Menzhinskogo feels… well, accurately described by the word “functional.” Pretty sure the wallpaper is judging me. Already regretting that questionable hostel choice.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Actually make it out of bed. Showered – victory! Attempt to decipher the tiny kitchen. Discover instant coffee and a suspicious-looking tea bag. This is not going to be a good start.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Embark on a mission: find food. Preferably something that doesn't require a microwave and a PhD in Russian. A walk around the block is undertaken, a quick stop at a 7/11 type store, no english speaking staff but still managed to buy some pastries and water. Success! (Though I’m pretty sure the cashier looked at me like I’d just landed from Mars.)
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): First Metro experience. Oh. My. God. The scale is… overwhelming. And the Cyrillic. It's mocking me. Feel like I'm lost in a sea of stern faces. Found my way to Red Square (somehow). It. Is. Gorgeous. But… it’s also packed. Feeling slightly claustrophobic, and the pigeons are actively trying to steal my pastry.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Red Square observations: St. Basil's Cathedral is a cartoon come to life. GUM department store is opulent beyond belief. Found the line to Lenin’s Mausoleum… nope. Just, nope. The thought of waiting in line for hours to see a dead dude… not today. Consider my sanity preserved.
- Afternoon (5:00 PM): Attempted to find a “traditional Russian restaurant.” The directions were… optimistic. Ended up wandering aimlessly for an hour. Emotional breakdown averted by the accidental discovery of a charming little cafe with delicious pastries and strong coffee. (Crisis averted. For now.)
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at a local "cafeteria" (the name escapes me). Ordered something and got something else (surprise!). At least it was edible, I guess. The babushka behind the counter gave me a look that could curdle milk. Feeling humbled.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Back at the apartment. Collapse on the bed. Journal entry: "Moscow: beautiful, bewildering, and possibly trying to break me."
Day 2: Culture Shock & Cathedral Confessions
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wake up. Jet lag has morphed into a full-blown existential crisis.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Decide to attack the cultural behemoth: the Tretyakov Gallery. Armed with a phrasebook and a vague understanding of Russian history, off I go.
- Morning (11:00 AM): Tretyakov Gallery: Woah. The art! The sheer volume! The paintings are stunning, overwhelming, and slightly depressing. The faces… they are intense. I'm pretty sure some of them are judging me.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Lunch. Found a place near the Tretyakov. Food was okay, the waitresses were beautiful and unfriendly (classic).
- Afternoon (2:30 PM): I need some perspective. Headed to Christ the Saviour Cathedral. The sheer scale of the place is… unbelievable. The gold! The ornamentation! The sheer religious awe of the place is almost too much. Found myself standing in a corner, just… staring. Had a moment. Got choked up. Don't judge me. Religious grandeur does that to me. And then…
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): The Cathedral Confession.
- Ok, so this is where it gets weird. I was just standing in the cathedral, awestruck, when I just wandered over to a side room where there was some guys in black robes, standing in line to get in. The line was slow, and I was feeling weird so I turned to a lady next to me . "I'm sorry" I said "I'm so sorry but I don't speak Russian." The lady was immediately nice (how Russian is that?), with a thick voice, she said "No need to be sorry, this is for the confession!"
- Confession. The word hung in the air, and as I was in the moment, and I was feeling vulnerable, I just said "Can I do it?" The woman looked at me and smiled "If you have some things to say."
- Well I was off and a whole 30 minutes later I was still in there. The priest, who I'm not sure even spoke English, he looked at me and went on a 30 minute tirade of Russian, and after that time, I don't know, I felt… better. I felt lighter, more present. The whole experience was surreal, strange, and deeply moving. I really can't explain it. I'm not even religious, but something about that experience… It brought me to tears. I don't have the word for it.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Walked back to Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 is silence, with my thoughts.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Tried to eat. No. Couldn't. Feeling too… much.
- Evening (9:00 PM): The apartment. I have no words.
- Evening (11:00 PM): Journal entry: "Moscow: beautiful, terrifying and… I think I need therapy."
Day 3: Exploring Beyond the Tourist Trail (and Avoiding Another Meltdown)
- Morning (10:00 AM): Finally dragged myself out of bed. The emotional baggage from yesterday is heavy.
- Morning (11:00 AM): Decide to escape the city center. Head for VDNKh (Exhibition of Achievements of National Economy). Hoping for something… less intense.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): VDNKh: Space! Grand avenues! The fountains! The statues! It’s like a Soviet Disneyland. It's a ridiculous assault on the senses, in the best possible way. Actually, I’m having fun. Maybe Moscow is starting to win me over?
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Found a cafe in VDNKh. Ordered something that looked vaguely familiar. Ate it. It was… passable. My taste buds are evolving.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): Spent the next hour wandering, taking photos, and soaking up the sheer weirdness of it all. Found a statue of a golden worker and a collective farm woman! Majestic!
- Evening (6:00 PM): Back to the Metro. The crowds are still daunting, but I'm starting to navigate them like a (slightly clumsy) pro.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner: Found a small place near the apartment. Food was basic but… comforting. Needed the comfort.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Back in my little box at Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21. Exhausted but surprisingly… content?
- Evening (10:00 PM): Journal entry: "Moscow: Still terrifying, definitely beautiful, and… maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to get it."
Day 4: Goodbye Moscow and More
- Morning (8:00 AM): Packing, a little sad to leave, a little excited to leave.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Last walk around the block, to get some snacks (and maybe something to cheer me up.)
- Morning (10:00 AM): Check out process from Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 (smooth).
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Train to… somewhere. I'm going.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): I am on the train. It's a whole new adventure.
- Evening (10:00 PM): Journal entry: Goodbye Moscow, and hello to the world.
Important Notes:
- Food: I'm still figuring this out. Expect to eat a lot of pastries. And maybe cry.
- Language: I know approximately three words of Russian. Expect a lot of charades and wild gesticulations.
- Mood: Varies wildly. From ecstatic to existential. Don't be surprised.
Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21: The Apartment That Nearly Broke Me (But Also Gave Me Wings) - FAQs!
Okay, so... "Unbelievable Views!" is a bold claim. Were the views *actually* unbelievable? Dish the dirt.
Alright, alright, let's be real. The views… they're *almost* worth the potential emotional baggage this place comes with. Picture this: you wake up, bleary-eyed, and BAM! Moscow stretching out before you like some giant, sparkly Christmas tree. Actually, it reminded me more of a slightly menacing, but undeniably majestic, chessboard. You see the sprawling city in a way that just… hits you. It's truly breathtaking. One morning, the sunrise was so intense, so ridiculously orange and pink, that I actually started crying. I swear, it was embarrassing. But beautiful. And then the smog rolled in a few hours later, reminding you *exactly* where you were. It’s a love-hate relationship, I tell ya.
What about the apartment *itself*? Is it as luxurious as it sounds? Spill the tea.
"Luxury." Right. Okay, let's categorize here. Is it *nicer* than my shoebox apartment in Brooklyn? Absolutely. Is it what you'd call "luxury" in, say, Monaco? Maybe not. The furniture *looked* fancy. Very gold leaf, lots of velvet. But the couch... listen, the couch. It looked stunning, but it ate a small, perfectly good bottle of vodka the first time I sat down. Spilled all over it. Right then and there, I had a moment of clarity. I was not, in fact, a sophisticated international traveler. I was a slightly clumsy, easily-flustered American who should probably stick to Ikea. And the bath? Majestic! Marble, enormous, but the water pressure… let's just say a snail could have out-showered it. It was a constant struggle of breathtaking views and "WHERE'S THE WATER?!"
Location, location, location! Is it actually a good spot in Moscow? Because navigating a city like Moscow... is a whole thing.
The location... well, if you're into that particular pocket of Moscow, yes. It wasn't exactly in the heart of the action, which meant a lot of taxi rides. And Moscow taxi drivers? Another adventure entirely. Lost count of the times I ended up somewhere I absolutely *did not* intend to be. But, proximity to the metro was a lifesaver. Except when it was freezing (which, let's be honest, is most of the time in Moscow) and trudging through snow. It's a bit of a trade-off. You know what? I'd say it's a solid "C+". Not amazing, not terrible, but definitely memorable, mainly due to the taxi shenanigans.
Any hidden costs or unexpected surprises? We all know those bite you in the, you know...
Oh, yes. Buckle up. The Wi-Fi. Let's just say, if you're relying on it for anything besides, oh, I don't know, *survival*, good luck. Constant dropouts. I nearly had a mental breakdown trying to upload a photo. Then there was the "included" cleaning service. Which, in practice, meant a very sweet, but slightly bewildered, babushka who appeared every third day and seemed to mostly rearrange items, not actually *clean* anything. Found a stray sock on the chandelier after a week! And don't even get me started on the "complimentary" mini-bar… which, when I actually checked the bill, was far less complimentary than advertised. Lesson learned: Always, ALWAYS triple-check the fine print. And maybe bring your own Wi-Fi router.
The building itself, what was the experience? Grand? Old? Creepy?
Okay, the building. It was... imposing. Think Soviet-era grandeur meets slightly crumbling charm. You know, the kind of place where you fully expect to bump into someone in a fur hat and a mysterious briefcase. The elevator! Oh boy, the elevator. It made more noises than my grandma's creaky knees. Honestly, I half expected it to break down mid-ascent every single time. But also, there was this sense of history, like the walls had stories to tell. Probably stories about espionage and lost love and other things I, a mere tourist, couldn't even begin to comprehend. It wasn't creepy, exactly, but it was definitely... atmospheric. I rather enjoyed the slightly intimidating concierge woman. She always gave me a look that said, "I know what you're up to," even when I was just trying to buy milk.
Would you stay there again? Be honest.
Honestly? Part of me wants to say *never again*. The couch, the Wi-Fi, the babushka, the taxi rides… it was a test of my sanity, a constant parade of minor inconveniences. But… those views. That feeling of waking up in a city I barely understood, with a breathtaking panorama before my eyes… that's something I'll never forget. And the memories, even the frustrating ones, are pretty damn priceless. I suppose I’d go back. But next time? I’m bringing my own router, a translator app for the babushka, and maybe a parachute for the elevator. And definitely a hazmat suit for the post-sunset smog. Yeah, I'd say I'd risk it again. Maybe. Definitely with a slightly less optimistic, and a lot more prepared, attitude.
Post a Comment for "Luxury Moscow Apartment: Hanaka Menzhinskogo 21 - Unbelievable Views!"